Adam Ant what have you done?
Covering two Iggy Pop songs in the space of ten minutes? Segueing from 'Anarchy In The UK' to 'Born In The USA'? Playing My Generation worse than a special needs school covers band. Welcome to the warped (and terrifying) world of Adam Ant. 'I'm gonna do a record 3 hours' he proclaims at one point. 'Sweet Lord noooooooooo' I think. 'Why not just leave?' you may ask, because I was working behind the bar and even if I wasn't, after parting with 50 quid (that's right the zero isn't a typo) I would want to get my money's worth.
Obviously there were a few die hard fans who loved it - highlight being watching a middle man dance like an extra in Kate Bush's 'Wuthering Heights' video - but these fans are generally as mentally stable as the Ant himself, fat, female and stopped waxing their taches when Bros disappeared from the public conscience. Which makes me wonder where are Bros? NKOTB have done it, Take That and even popular boy band beat combo Godspeed You! Black Emperor have wowed their teen fans and made a comeback.
Bros were one of the originals and impressed me so much that my sister's boyfriend at the time (his name was Kris and he later changed it to Dragon - cock!) and I decided that taking a pair of scissors to my sister's piece of vinyl was probably the best course of action. But Bros were one of the originals of the current style of boyband! So who else is there out there that could make a quick buck by reforming? Lets have a think......
Well first up must be Bros. In 2008 it was rumoured that they were about to reform but Matt Goss put that idea to bed earlier this year saying 'the moment had passed'.
The Jam: Kind of reformed already but without Mr Weller, so really didn't reform at all. They were called From The Jam - awful! However Weller looks like he could be swayed from what he said about the possibility in a 2006 interview: '"Me and my children would have to be destitute and starving in the gutter before I'd even consider that"
Fugazi: Would we want a Fugazi reformation? I know it would be bitter sweet. Yes I'd love to see them but their integrity would be shattered. However, have they officially ever announced the split? Doesn't that leave the door open for them to say 'We've just had a bit of time off'?? I'm still undecided.
HP Zinker: Nobody but me cares, but I still hold out hope. Please Mr Platzgummer make it happen!
Stone Roses: Squire seems happy, Brown is adamant it won't happen, Mani earns plenty with Primal Scream, so it's only Reni that could do with the dollar. Would his ex-band mates reunite to help a friend's finances?
Not if they're like Rod Stewart - that stupid twat decided not to join back up with The Faces as he demanded an astronomically bigger % than the rest of the band to do it. Ian Maclagan then posted a thinly veiled attack about his former band mate's selfishness on youtube. The worst thing of all though was that it allowed the ginger epitome of evil Mick Hucknall to get the gig!! Oh the horror!! Although slightly better than Mel C who was apparently also in the running to replace the Rod!
NSync: Hopefully this won't happen as the resulting flood of vaginal juice could engulf the known world
Beach Boys: Would it be worth it? Lets face it without Wilson the Beach Boys are like the Chipmunks without Alvin. Plus Brian now has an awesome set of musicians and singers around him that make Love et al look like inmates of a retirement home for the physically disabled putting on a lunchtime performance for fellow inmates.
B*Witched: Unless they reform to do a choreographed dive into a giant mincer whilst singing 'C'est La Vie' I'm not interested. That said there was something about 'Blame It On The Weatherman' that I always quite liked.
These are a few of my suggestions. I would like to hear a few of yours.......
